<♥> Tonight I celebrate my love for you

♥Lolipops.♥

♥ Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I fell in love again.

I just got back from Pavilion with the BF.

PARKING WAS BLOODY FUCKING EXPENSIVE.. burnt a hole in my pocket man.. somebody please kill meeeeeeee....

anyway.. I was going through The Star online to check out articles about my uncle's death. Quite tragic. I was shocked to find out the sudden death. =(

"Celebrated cardiologist killed in mishap--Datuk Dr Nik
Zainal Abidin Abdul Rahman who set up the first fully equipped cardiac
catheterisation laboratory."

okayyy.. I didn't know he was THAT OF A BIG DEAL. seriously. He is so humble and down to earth. My deepest condolence to Uncle Nik's family.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/10/30/nation/19320976&sec=nation (read to find out more)

Uncle Nik and his family.

SUDDENLY.....

jeng jeng jeng....*drum rolls*

something caught my eyes. The headline.

Singaporeans blur on sex.

Wahliao weh. So kiasu but their stupidity is beyond god light man!

Its urology senior consultant Dr Lin Fa Cai said he once treated a woman who was married for 10 years and supposedly had sex more than 1,000 times, but was still a virgin. Dr Lin said the husband, who had a doctorate degree, and his wife, who complained of being unable to conceive, sought help at the hospital.

“The couple told me they had sex about three times a week but when I examined
the wife, her hymen was still intact.
“He had a doctorate degree
but zero knowledge on sex,” he said.

okayyyyyyy..So there are two possibilities.. It is either the dude has a dick which is too tinnie winny mini-fying mirco short to even reach the hymen or..this dude here been fucking the god damn asshole for a zillion times for the past 10 years and still didn't know it was wrong?

awwww.. poor kid. a bit the sad case lorh hor?? And the best part is... HE OWNS A DOCTORATE DEGREE!!

Seee.. study so hard also no use. Become doctor also useless.. So much for being so kiasu..

Moral of the story:

A doctorate degree doesn't teach you how to have sex and it doesn't mean you are smart. Go watch more porn. might help. =p

P/s/s/s/s : To all Malaysian dudes out there. Don't worry. Mishaps like this only happens to Singaporeans. It is scientifically proven there is nothing to worry about. And all Malaysian girls can start smiling again. =p

Loved at 8:29 AM

♥ Saturday, October 27, 2007
I so layan alco.

For somewhat donkey reason I'm always feeling a tad cheerful on Fridays. Last day of the horrible college week! =)
*smilling from ear to ear*

Anyways... after college which ends at 4, I didn't want to go back home straight so I called Erica up and told her I wanted to go over to her place at Subang.

My dear darling friend Iskandar was so nice to drive all the way there to drop me off. aiyoo.. Subang is so far I think even China is nearer.. -.-
Waited at Asia Cafe for Erica and her bf.

in Iskandar's car.

" All these while I call you over to my place you never want to come.. Suddenly today we gonna open bottle tonight only you come.."

=.="

must meh.. say me until like that.. hahaha. I didn't even know they were going to drink that night. I really didn't want to drink because I felt bad for being the 'uninvited guest' and not chipping in for the alco. But they insisted (everybody lets say together..awwww.. they are so nice people!) so much and so I drank a few shots. ALL RAW. Since I'm not a good drinker and I'm too afraid to get drunk knowing all the nonsense I'll be doing... I stopped after the 10th cup I think. =p

I must say Erica's bf, Tinish is a real nice guy! Nice to get to know him better.. And her friends were all so nice.. Pheobe, Megan and Taju! Hopeigottheirnamesright. =p

I was the 1st to knock out that night.. crashed at Erica's place..The BF was suppose to fetch me home that night but he fell asleep till the next morning.. So he came early next morning to fetch me. bastard..

camwhoring in DSA.

the spongbob tissue holder I bought for the BF because I was inspired by Alvin's one! =p

The next morning I woke up feeling a bit heavy headed. Went Taman Tun for breakie with the BF. Then we headed to The Curve then Ikano then IKEA then One Utama. I had a tiring day ok.. Reached home at night after chilling a bit at Anusha's place.

'oit. you dunno how to come back izzit? Forgot where is your house adi?

'no la no la.. where gotttt..'

that is what daddy said to me the moment I stepped home. =p. my bad.

Gotta go get ready now! Heading to Damansara for YK's birthday bash tonight! Gotta pray hard for nice song to layan.. nice alco and great time! tata.

muacksss ..

Loved at 7:21 PM

♥ Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Sunshine.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I'm fine now. Stopped crying few days ago. =)
My main concern now is my LAN subject!
I screwed up my Malaysian Studies paper. *yikes*
Cross fingers and pray hard I don't fail..
I dowan to fail.. I dowan to fail...
Gotta study for Moral soon. *double yikes*
Michelle michelle.. look what you have done.. please study...

♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Loved at 5:08 AM

♥ Sunday, October 21, 2007
I want to taste a rainbow.

I cry everyday, almost like a routine.
I tend to get sick of it but yet couldn't help it but cry. =(
The only way I can channel all my sorrows to is by drawing.
I always love drawing. It was my passion. Drawing makes me happy.
Colours brighten up my day. =)
So I started drawing....

I'm feeling much better now.. A big big thanks to everyone for being so concern. muacks <3

Loved at 1:34 AM

♥ Friday, October 19, 2007
say what?! diary

Maybe I really shouldn't post how I feel on my blog.

Juney : faster faster tell me what happened!
Me : Aiyar.. i dun wan the whole world to know.
Juney : Then why post it in your blog?! GO GET A DIARY INSTEAD LA!

diary? Diary is so high school. I have one where I wrote all my feelings in it. I cried as I write my diary when I was younger. Spotted a few tear stain when I was going through it the other day.

I don't know about how everyone out there feel when they love someone.
Juney and Jojo and Erica and Swee Ling and god knows who else seemed happily inlove.

Why am I the only one feeling so lefted out.
I'm the only one crying and complaining so much.
It is really hard to explain the feeling. It is like I'm pretending to be happy as I live in denial. I know things are never going to turn out good but I am never ready to let go. I've put in so much effort ,time and tears but nothing seems to make things work. I have to tolerate all the nonsense and cry everytime I get hurt. It is not that I dont want to listen to others.

Everyone has been telling me to leave and move on. Not that I dont want to. I REALLY WANT TO. But i'm just not strong enough. When I feel week I tend to follow what my heart says more than my brain. My friends are all gone. Everyone is always so busy. I really need a shoulder to cry on.............

you will never get it.....
because you are not in my shoes.
It feels like the world has come down apart. I'm left alone to die.
stuck between the feeling of giving up and holding on.
Nothings fine and im torn.
I ran out of faith.

Loved at 9:50 PM

♥ Saturday, October 13, 2007
end of story.

After a few attempts of calling him. He finally picked up.

We broke up. He is going out with someone else.

I cried again.

End of story.

I'm fine now.

I'll dance my ass off..smoke my head off and drink till i get wasted tonight and will cry no more.
Mystique here I come with my sorrows and shall leave it all there!

Loved at 4:49 AM

♥ Friday, October 12, 2007
A broken Heart with Love

I've been posting a whole lot of chin peng gang of emo post. I'm getting tired of it.
But nevertheless..
here comes another one. =/

The nightmare I feared most finally came through.
The moment I gave up everything I had around me and gave my heart away.. withthin days it was already broken into god knows how many zillion pieces.

I cried in college right after I hung up the phone.
*thanks manda for being there for me*
I cried in the car while Hakim was talking to me.

" seee.. that is where you stand in his heart. You are not important."
" uhuh."
*Hakim turns and look at me*
"OMG michelle. are you crying?"
"Must be my contact lens. I'm perfectly alright."

I lied as I tried to hide my trembling voice.
I reached home and ran into my room to.
I thought a warm bath would make me fine but instead I ended up crying in the shower.
Hid in my room and cried all day long. I was so tired of crying that I accidentally fell asleep.
When I woke up it was already evening.
My eyes were so swollen. I could hardly open my eyes.

I was hoping he would at least call to apologize.
Nil.
no news. Nothing.
I've called more than 10 times. No one picked up.
I called again this morning. No answer.
oh well. I should have trusted my instinct in the 1st place.
I am to be blame for the pain I asked for. =)

I ♥ you. But you made me feel like a nobody. Do u know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw u away?

Loved at 4:27 PM

♥ Tuesday, October 9, 2007
I'll leave it title-less.

Here comes the update as I watch my antibody crash.
Sore throat larr... Pening larrr... Fever larrrr..... All sorts of Dick,Tom and Harry sickness you can find. *shessshhh*

As I look outside the window, staring as the rain drops fall and touch the surface of the earth. I tried to blink hard.
Finding it almost impossible to believe that I have fallen in love.
Not with someone new. but with someone who has always been there with me.
He called me one night. Told me he decided to stay. So I let him.
The concrete feeling that I have been fighting as I continue to live happily in denial has finally gave way.
Silly as it may sound. Maybe it is time for me to take a risk. =)

hahahaha. Yes Michelle. A very the jiwang post.

Loved at 2:13 AM