Nina. Phrav (me brother!) & me.

Most of the time, when a person walks out of your life, you just couldn't careless.

But sometimes when a special someone walks out, your heart suddenly sinks to the bottom. Walking around with a soul without a heart. EMPTY-ness fills in. Pretending everything will be fine.

" I'll do fine."

I kept telling myself. Life would be so different. Feels like I've lost part of myself. But yet, life still moves on and I'll drag myself to it. Feelings I felt when I woke up that morning, realising I can't call her anymore. I teared.



Nina left for Banting to further her studies yesterday. Yes I know Banting is just 45 minutes drive around the corner from here. But still.... The night before she left I actually made an effort to go all the way to her place at 12.30 midnight to see her for the last time. Only manage to talk to her through bars since only her maid keeps the gate keys and she is asleep. While taking to her I kept hearing myself repeating the same line

" Life is so not going to be the same again without you."

I felt tears rolling down my warm cheeks.

"Michy, are you crying? Don't cry. You making me feel like crying too."

said Nina. I shook my head... wiped off my tears and told her I'm alright with my trembling voice. If only I can beg her to stay knowing it is the closest thing to impossible.
I teared for her. I seldom cry even if it is the most painful thing on earth. Crying was never an option for me when I'm down. I find it hard to cry. I always put on a mask to show how tough I am even tho I'm feeling horrible deep under. But that night I cried.

She was the person I trusted most. She knows everything about me even my deepest and ugliest secrets. The troubles I've went through. No one knows me better than that.
Who am I going to seek for when I have problems next time? Not that I don't have any other close friends.. But not everyone makes me feel the way how Nina makes me feel. =/
No more going jogging together. No more hanging out together. No more sleeping overs. No more movies and shopping together. No more late night session on the phone. No more Korean movies. No more hearing her screaming "LEE DONG WOOK opa~~~!!!" anymore. No more.

I never thought things would actually happen so quick.
Too fast that it takes time to digest.
We are growing up too fast.. Naive as I am.. I still live in a world of innocence.
She shall be missed deeply by me. Truly.
I can only wish her all the best.